Divorce …. it’s complicated and the number one question that the team at Legal Liaisons, LLC, consistently receives from divorce clients is:
What can I expect during my divorce?
The truth is that there’s no clear-cut answer to this question.
I mean, let’s face it. No two divorces are the same. The process consists of an emotional roll-a-coaster ride full of dynamic highs and lows that can leave you full of anxiety and fear, all depending on your unique situation. And because each divorce is so different, nobody can tell you exactly what to expect to the fullest extent.
I know. It sounds vague, yet the one thing I can guarantee you with all certainty is that ALL divorces involve emotional turbulence, grief from the loss of a relationship, financial considerations, and legal aspects. And even though these factors entail varying degrees of urgency, the one element that you must deal with immediately is the legal aspect.
Divorce can be daunting and, quite honestly, scary as hell. It’s bad enough that you’re having to deal with emotions, grief, and potential financial burdens but when the unclear legalities involved start to surface, you can begin to feel as though the flames of hell couldn’t be as bad as the “D” word.
But before you get too frightened, keep reading. I’ve compiled a brief rundown of what to expect when you’re expecting that anxiety-ridden legal component within the divorce process to help calm some of your fears.
Let’s cut to the chase and address the most important issue of the entire divorce process, the one that can make or break how the divorce proceeds: Expectations.
And here’s the shocker...
The main thing to expect throughout the divorce process is…
That’s right. Don’t expect one thing.
Don’t expect the worst, don’t expect the best, don’t expect your divorce to go like anybody else’s (so don’t even listen to those who want to counsel you from the sidelines), and most importantly, don’t expect to “win” your divorce case.
What many people fail to realize is that most divorces never proceed to the point of being heard before a judge in a courtroom. And guess what? This is EXACTLY what you want! You want to negotiate and come to agreements outside of a court of law. Your chances of receiving a reasonable divorce settlement increase dramatically when you keep your head about you and avoid the additional stress (and unnecessary drama) of a courtroom. The best way to achieve this great feat is to go into the legal process with zero expectations without any ill-willed notion of “beating” your spouse because there’s never a true winner when it comes to child custody, child support, and the division of property when you’re in the “win-lose” mindset. Instead, consider the consequences of a full-blown court battle, both emotionally and financially, and drop all expectations before it goes too far.
Now that expectations have been eliminated, just know that the process generally involves these main steps: making the decision to move forward with a divorce, finding the right attorney, filing for divorce, negotiations, the division of marital assets, negotiations, distribution of marital debt, negotiations, decisions involving child custody and support, more negotiations, the possibility of a mediator, even more negotiations, and eventually the final decree.
Did you notice the repetitive concept of negotiating? Well, there’s a reason why.
Negotiating is a key factor in reaching a fair and equitable divorce settlement without going to court. And remember, staying out of a courtroom is essential to a streamlined divorce process as well as securing a peaceful future. To ensure all of this, don’t hold on to past or present grievances. Don’t drop the negotiations without good cause. Don’t continually threaten a courtroom confrontation and don’t let the desire to “win” your divorce case leave you vulnerable to the uncertainty of a judge ruling. Be reasonable and negotiate, negotiate, negotiate.
Understanding what to expect during a divorce doesn’t guarantee an amicable or quick process; however, it can help you get a grasp of the reality of the situation. And if you need additional help with any part of the divorce process, let the team at Legal Liaisons, LLC, help guide you away from expectations and lead you to negotiating a divorce that will allow you to…
Rock On Because I Sure Am.
Rachel J. Henley
Legal Liaisons, LLC
Disclaimer: The contents of this article along with the information provided on the Legal Liaisons, LLC, website are for informational purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal advice. You should contact your attorney to obtain advice with respect to any particular issue or problem. The opinions expressed through this article and our website are the opinions of the individual author.